Ok I admit 3 months is pretty bad for time between blogs...and I have no excuse except laziness. I've actually had a lot of things to blog about, interesting things even. But can I think of even one of them now??? Nope. All I can think about is how happy I am. Which for me is a pretty darn amazing thing. I spent a large percentage of my life being miserable...and now for the most part my life is pretty darn amazing. Not to be smug or anything but....I'm married to my best friend and the love of my life. His family has accepted me and now I have an amazing extended family. I have the world's most amazing son (ok I might be a *bit* biased but bear with me) who fills each and every day with more joy than I thought possible. I have my chosen family which I just found out will be extended by one this July when my "brother" welcomes his first baby into the world. And for once my biological family is filled out with a mother AND a father as through the miracle of the internet my paternal family has found me. Plus I still have all those crazy people in my life that are more family than friends....Not too shabby for 'ole Dawn. So thats it for this blog, just me being happy. And since today's Thanksgiving I guess thats ok.
Love and Spit Bubbles
Dawn and Eli
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Short and sweet
Ahhh today was Eli's 5 month birthday! And yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of discovering that he was on his way into our lives...We had a lazy, snuggly day just enjoying doing nothing. We did take Eli down to the pool but it was a little chilly for him and so we cut it short. He's a natural in the water though, already kicking his legs and letting daddy dunk him under. After a bath and a bottle he's napping with his new blanket Grandma Jeannie sent him.
Last night he went out with us to First Friday's and it's amazing how open he is to new experiences and people. He was a little freaked out at first but after a few "mommy snuggles" he was up to party. He got to stay out way past his bedtime and seemed to have a blast with his adopted Aunties and Uncles. We got really lucky with him, in every way.
That's really it for us Vegas Winsetts...just getting ready for my (ick) 31st birthday/ Randy and I's 2nd wedding anniversary and our trip back to Oklahoma. I'm much more excited for the trip. :)
Love and Spit Bubbles
Dawn and Eli
Last night he went out with us to First Friday's and it's amazing how open he is to new experiences and people. He was a little freaked out at first but after a few "mommy snuggles" he was up to party. He got to stay out way past his bedtime and seemed to have a blast with his adopted Aunties and Uncles. We got really lucky with him, in every way.
That's really it for us Vegas Winsetts...just getting ready for my (ick) 31st birthday/ Randy and I's 2nd wedding anniversary and our trip back to Oklahoma. I'm much more excited for the trip. :)
Love and Spit Bubbles
Dawn and Eli
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Peas, love and happiness
Sorry I have been lax in posting...so much is going on and yet so little at the same time. We ran off to San Diego so Randy could go to ComicCon and he got to go for the day and geek out at the biggest and the best. I took the time to head out and see my besties from years ago. I hadn't seen Jeannie in over 6 years and although I had seen Julie at my baby shower I always love seeing her. We went up to her place and took the kids to the beach (Jeannie had two gorgeous daughters) It was so fun just to *be* with them again. Not "old" times but newer better times with the old flair. When I dropped my Jeannie off I cried the whole way back to my moms. I promise I will write more about these two, and maybe even dig up some old photos of us back in the day.
The next day we were supposed to do family photos with mom but we ran late and reschuled but I did get a chance to change my hair, a new and bright redhead am I. I love it. Basically that was Friday, just chilling with mom, Randy and the kiddo.
Saturday we tried to do the photo thing again but mom wasn't feeling great. So we texted another of my best pals and had breakfast with her and my rarely seen pal Magnus. It was SO great to get to catch up. I had seen Michalene since Eli was born but not Magnus. Actually I rarely see him anymore and was thrilled to "torture" him with the threat of baby cuddles. I think he's more afraid of babies than most people are of snakes!! Too fun.
We came home relaxed, took a nap, ate some dinner and then...oh joy....Randy and I went out for Mommy and Daddy time at a Burners without Borders fundraiser!! We went over to my friend Alik's house and got to spend some time with him which I had been missing SO SO much. The fundraiser was based on the 7 deadly sins and the costumes were great, the music good, and the people fantastic. I am so glad we went as my dear friend Jenny (the gorgeous redhead in
the red dress) is m
oving to Vermont in September!!! I would have been heartbroken if she had moved and I had missed seeing her at least one more time. Her heart is bigger than I can even begin to describe. I also got to see my "gay husband" Cable and frankly I can never see enough of him.
Sunday we took Eli to see Jenny (we can't make him a good enough fake id yet) and he loves his Aunty Jenny. They actually look a bit alike. Saying goodbye was hard. Then we went to Wendy and Bob's to say hello and see how Wendy was recovering from her surgery. We only stayed an hour or so but at least we got to say hi.
Since returning not much has been going on, except....PEAS. Eli has started eating "solid" food and although we had tried about a month ago with bananas we decided to wait a little while to start again. We did cereal for 3 days and yesterday we added peas. He LOVES them. Another day and we add carrots. He's so cute with green goo on his chin kicking his feet and squealing ever time I say "say aaah" This kid is going to eat us out of house and home!!
Only 2 weeks to my birthday and Randy & I's anniversary and 22 days till we leave for Oklahoma! :)
Love and Spit Bubbles
Dawn and Eli
The next day we were supposed to do family photos with mom but we ran late and reschuled but I did get a chance to change my hair, a new and bright redhead am I. I love it. Basically that was Friday, just chilling with mom, Randy and the kiddo.
Saturday we tried to do the photo thing again but mom wasn't feeling great. So we texted another of my best pals and had breakfast with her and my rarely seen pal Magnus. It was SO great to get to catch up. I had seen Michalene since Eli was born but not Magnus. Actually I rarely see him anymore and was thrilled to "torture" him with the threat of baby cuddles. I think he's more afraid of babies than most people are of snakes!! Too fun.
We came home relaxed, took a nap, ate some dinner and then...oh joy....Randy and I went out for Mommy and Daddy time at a Burners without Borders fundraiser!! We went over to my friend Alik's house and got to spend some time with him which I had been missing SO SO much. The fundraiser was based on the 7 deadly sins and the costumes were great, the music good, and the people fantastic. I am so glad we went as my dear friend Jenny (the gorgeous redhead in
the red dress) is m
oving to Vermont in September!!! I would have been heartbroken if she had moved and I had missed seeing her at least one more time. Her heart is bigger than I can even begin to describe. I also got to see my "gay husband" Cable and frankly I can never see enough of him.Sunday we took Eli to see Jenny (we can't make him a good enough fake id yet) and he loves his Aunty Jenny. They actually look a bit alike. Saying goodbye was hard. Then we went to Wendy and Bob's to say hello and see how Wendy was recovering from her surgery. We only stayed an hour or so but at least we got to say hi.
Since returning not much has been going on, except....PEAS. Eli has started eating "solid" food and although we had tried about a month ago with bananas we decided to wait a little while to start again. We did cereal for 3 days and yesterday we added peas. He LOVES them. Another day and we add carrots. He's so cute with green goo on his chin kicking his feet and squealing ever time I say "say aaah" This kid is going to eat us out of house and home!!
Only 2 weeks to my birthday and Randy & I's anniversary and 22 days till we leave for Oklahoma! :)
Love and Spit Bubbles
Dawn and Eli
Friday, July 17, 2009
We got ourselves...
a 16.4 pounder!! Eli went to the doctor yesterday and he tipped the scale at 16.4 pounds and 27 inches long. That's a 4.4 lb gain and a 4 inch gain in just 2 months. He's getting SO big. We were thinking closer to 18 pounds but guess he just feels heavier. He also got his shots and that did not please him at all. We got him home and I was able to get him smiling and to sleep. With a pillow tucked next to him I went in to talk to Randy when we heard a *crash* and yep...you guessed it the little man had rolled off the bed. I was horrified, he had shifted the pillow and rolled over part of it. Fortunately the little man didn't hurt anything but mommy's heart broke just a little bit. Oh the guilt of it all.
We got him to bed around 10 (ok Randy got him to bed, I was in bed by 9:30 LOL) and he slept til 6am! Then he knocked back out around 8am....played with mamma for an hour or 2 and now he's back out. Thank GOD for baby tylenol. He's so warm and seems achy...I wish I could take it all away. But it seems as though he is a mutant like daddy and heals quick. :o)
On my front the bug bite seems to have decided not to kill me. I bought a draw out salve and it drew out all the *yech* I got my shot yesterday and there will be no new Vegas Winsetts for at least 3 months. I'd love to repeat Eli sooner than later but dangit they still want us to pay for him. They can't take him back or sell him to Gerber for white slavery right? hehe Sooner rather than later....
We promise new pics soon. Eli got a new present from MaMere and it's...well it's too cute to try and describe. We'll post pictures, lets just say all my jokes about his driving don't seem so funny...
Love and Spit Bubbles
Dawn and Eli
We got him to bed around 10 (ok Randy got him to bed, I was in bed by 9:30 LOL) and he slept til 6am! Then he knocked back out around 8am....played with mamma for an hour or 2 and now he's back out. Thank GOD for baby tylenol. He's so warm and seems achy...I wish I could take it all away. But it seems as though he is a mutant like daddy and heals quick. :o)
On my front the bug bite seems to have decided not to kill me. I bought a draw out salve and it drew out all the *yech* I got my shot yesterday and there will be no new Vegas Winsetts for at least 3 months. I'd love to repeat Eli sooner than later but dangit they still want us to pay for him. They can't take him back or sell him to Gerber for white slavery right? hehe Sooner rather than later....
We promise new pics soon. Eli got a new present from MaMere and it's...well it's too cute to try and describe. We'll post pictures, lets just say all my jokes about his driving don't seem so funny...
Love and Spit Bubbles
Dawn and Eli
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
A postcard would have been fine..
So since we are skipping the Burn this year when I heard that a few of Randy's friends were heading out to the event held on the 4th of July in the same location by most of the same people I (not so gently) encouraged him to go. After all, for the last 2 years his life has been focused on me and the baby, the man NEEDED a vacation. So after (well...) telling him to go and getting another wife in on the action and getting her to tell her husband to go...We happily packed our husbands off for a weekend of debauchary sans wife and kids. (We decided to have an estrogen fest at her house...fun was had by all, more on that later)
The men were supposed to be gone til Monday but due to an unexpected plumbing problem at camper #3's house they came home Sunday. So we crashed out at our friends house Sunday night and returned to normal business at home Monday. All was well until Wednesday when I was attempting to clean and noticed I sat on something sharp and painful while trying to gather up Randy's camping clothing. I didn't think much of it until the next morning when the benadryl I was taking wore off. My right butt cheek was swollen to Jennifer Lopez proportions, bright red and hot enough to fry an egg on (temp...not looks trust me.) Turns out where the men had camped was infested with flying stinging pests and my love had brought home one of their stingers. Have I mentioned I stop breathing when things bite or sting me? If this little bastard hadn't already gotten Randy (or died trying ) or I hadn't been taking benadryl that night I probably would not be here to blog. I got all the symptoms of anaphalaxsis except the death part. I didn't use my EpiPen but probably should have....
Now a week later the swelling has started to abate and I can almost sit on my butt without screaming. This is why I don't camp....or clean for that matter! lol *bleh*
love and spit bubbles
Dawn and Eli
The men were supposed to be gone til Monday but due to an unexpected plumbing problem at camper #3's house they came home Sunday. So we crashed out at our friends house Sunday night and returned to normal business at home Monday. All was well until Wednesday when I was attempting to clean and noticed I sat on something sharp and painful while trying to gather up Randy's camping clothing. I didn't think much of it until the next morning when the benadryl I was taking wore off. My right butt cheek was swollen to Jennifer Lopez proportions, bright red and hot enough to fry an egg on (temp...not looks trust me.) Turns out where the men had camped was infested with flying stinging pests and my love had brought home one of their stingers. Have I mentioned I stop breathing when things bite or sting me? If this little bastard hadn't already gotten Randy (or died trying ) or I hadn't been taking benadryl that night I probably would not be here to blog. I got all the symptoms of anaphalaxsis except the death part. I didn't use my EpiPen but probably should have....
Now a week later the swelling has started to abate and I can almost sit on my butt without screaming. This is why I don't camp....or clean for that matter! lol *bleh*
love and spit bubbles
Dawn and Eli
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
A natural high..
I always wondered what that was...until today.
I had the little man on the bed with me and he was eating his "post-lunch-pre-dinner snack" and for no apparent reason (at least to mommy) he started to cry. Not knowing *exactly* what to do...he was dry, full and not in any physical pain I could see, I did all I could instinctually. I gathered him into my arms and snuggled him under my blanket (yes mommy has her lovie too) as he calmed down he tucked his little head onto my shoulder and met my eyes. Those little blue eyes where so full of trust and love. He looked at me like "How do you do it? You always seem to know what I want and need." And as I stared at my snuggly infant son he smiled at me and I knew that he KNEW mommy would always be there. Thats what that whole "natural high" thing is. So I got the great joy of cuddling my boy as he fell asleep, listening to him sigh and coo as he got more comfy in my arms, safe and secure knowing his mommy was there. I think I spent his entire nap staring at him, kissing his head and whispering to him that he was right in believeing....right in knowing that his mommy would always love him, always cuddle him and ALWAYS be there. How as a woman, as a wife, as a human did I get so darn lucky?
Love and spit bubbles
Dawn and Eli
I had the little man on the bed with me and he was eating his "post-lunch-pre-dinner snack" and for no apparent reason (at least to mommy) he started to cry. Not knowing *exactly* what to do...he was dry, full and not in any physical pain I could see, I did all I could instinctually. I gathered him into my arms and snuggled him under my blanket (yes mommy has her lovie too) as he calmed down he tucked his little head onto my shoulder and met my eyes. Those little blue eyes where so full of trust and love. He looked at me like "How do you do it? You always seem to know what I want and need." And as I stared at my snuggly infant son he smiled at me and I knew that he KNEW mommy would always be there. Thats what that whole "natural high" thing is. So I got the great joy of cuddling my boy as he fell asleep, listening to him sigh and coo as he got more comfy in my arms, safe and secure knowing his mommy was there. I think I spent his entire nap staring at him, kissing his head and whispering to him that he was right in believeing....right in knowing that his mommy would always love him, always cuddle him and ALWAYS be there. How as a woman, as a wife, as a human did I get so darn lucky?
Love and spit bubbles
Dawn and Eli
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Life lessons from a shortish baldish man with big ears...
No not Ross Perot...my kiddo. Today in a rush after my shower I skipped his normal 20-30 minute wake up routine of cuddles, tickles, kisses and songs. I picked him up, stripped him of his diaper jumped in the tub with him, washed his stinky butt, jumped out, dried, lotioned and dressed him. It was my "introduction to grown-up's 101" if you will. He was NOT impressed. He looked at me like I was an alien. Then I realized that perhaps that is why we as grown-ups are so darn grumpy. If we had someone to gently snuggle us awake, sing us silly songs, tell us they loved us, kiss our tummies, and lull us gently into our day PERHAPS we wouldn't want to kill the 1st (or 2nd-100th) person we see in the morning. Perhaps Starbucks would fall into ruin! Dear Gods....perhaps people would SMILE!!!! EEK! Anything but that.....
Realizing my error, and that I had the potential for a grumpy/teething baby I quickly resumed snuggle-cuddle-sing-feed-play-kiss-love time and I am happy to say, the Eli is happy. And when Eli is happy, even a grumpy mommy is happy. Isn't it great when you learn from someone who is only 116 days old and has only recently discovered he has feet?!?!
Love you all and happy 4th
Dawn and Eli
Realizing my error, and that I had the potential for a grumpy/teething baby I quickly resumed snuggle-cuddle-sing-feed-play-kiss-love time and I am happy to say, the Eli is happy. And when Eli is happy, even a grumpy mommy is happy. Isn't it great when you learn from someone who is only 116 days old and has only recently discovered he has feet?!?!
Love you all and happy 4th
Dawn and Eli
Monday, June 29, 2009
Not much to say but...if a picture is worth 1000 words
We have Eli ready for a baseball game, the fair, and of course the SD Chargers!
Eli chilling after pooltime, in the pool with Mommy, and of course with his Daddy!
Eli turning himself upside down (still have no idea how!) in his shades and ready to ride and demanding a mini donut at the swapmeet!
We love you all!
Dawn and Eli
Friday, June 26, 2009
On a happy note....
I did get a digital camera. My mom gave me her kodak easy share with the printer dock and everything!!! All I need to do is buy the printer and paper. But Randy will be able to set the dock up for me so I can e-mail and post more pictures!! Plus I can send physical prints! :)
love and spit bubbles
dawn and Eli
love and spit bubbles
dawn and Eli
Funkytown...
And not the "get out your goldfish filled platforms and bellbottoms" It's more of the *bleh* can't shake this yucky feeling. I know my last 2 blogs have been veritable rays of sunshine and I should really try and perk this up but I'm just *bleh* I was really let down by San Diego and I get lonely here in Las Vegas. I love being home with Eli and wouldn't trade being able to do that for anything. I just miss being around someone who talks. I hate to bug people by calling them on the phone and facebook is only entertaining for so long. It's just bleh bleh bleh. Gods, better stop now...my whining is bugging me....
love you all
dawn
love you all
dawn
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Can you do math?
I can. If you are prescribed 150 pills and you can take 8 a day, how many days of pills do you have. I believe the number is 18.something. Today I go to the doctor and was told that the 150 was for 30 days and I was only supposed to take 5 a day. The bottle said 1-2 every 6 hours....quick do the math that equals 8. I explained to Dr. Asshole (my doc was on a boat in Europe) that perhaps since my normal Doc knew I was coming back in 3 weeks perhaps he wrote me a 3 weeks scrip. I was told "we don't do 3 week appointments"Funny I came in on the 4th of June and today was the 25...gee seems like 3 weeks to me right. Again with the math. The the butthead proceed to stick a needle up and down my arms and into my neck while zapping me. Then he left, the MA came in and proceeded to zap me again, putting the info into the wrong screens. Dr. Asshole wrote me a scrip to cover me til the 3rd and off I go.
I get to appointment 2 and on a whim I call my pharmacy to see if they had received the refill fax on my muscle relaxer (faxed Monday) NOPE. So I call Dr. A-hole's office and ask them if they got the fax...course not. So my pharmacy faxes it not once, not twice, not 3 times, not 4, but 5 muther-ffin times. Thinking they have it I take my sedation meds get crammed into a tube and get radiated for 20 minutes. Did I mention I am EXTREMELY claustrophobic?
Off we go to the pharmacy. Is the muscle relaxor filled? NOPE. But the new scrip I have was dated for TOMORROW. Are you fucking kidding me? I spend the next hour callingback and forth and having the scrip refaxed 6, 7, and 8 times. Finally they fix the refaxed one and at 4:45pm I get some idiot MA who SWORE the doctor would call my pharmacy immediately so I cold go on my merry little way. (I've now been at the pharmacy for 2 hours) Finally at 5:15 I gave up took the muscle relaxors and will go get the other crap tomorrow.
Do I have "please have all your idiot employees annoy me?" tatooed on my ass today or what?!!?!? Tara can I borrow your grumpy lol cat.
Love my family!! Hate my doctors minions!
ps
Eli is doing great and can almost turn over! But this was a rant and Eli is happy news
I get to appointment 2 and on a whim I call my pharmacy to see if they had received the refill fax on my muscle relaxer (faxed Monday) NOPE. So I call Dr. A-hole's office and ask them if they got the fax...course not. So my pharmacy faxes it not once, not twice, not 3 times, not 4, but 5 muther-ffin times. Thinking they have it I take my sedation meds get crammed into a tube and get radiated for 20 minutes. Did I mention I am EXTREMELY claustrophobic?
Off we go to the pharmacy. Is the muscle relaxor filled? NOPE. But the new scrip I have was dated for TOMORROW. Are you fucking kidding me? I spend the next hour callingback and forth and having the scrip refaxed 6, 7, and 8 times. Finally they fix the refaxed one and at 4:45pm I get some idiot MA who SWORE the doctor would call my pharmacy immediately so I cold go on my merry little way. (I've now been at the pharmacy for 2 hours) Finally at 5:15 I gave up took the muscle relaxors and will go get the other crap tomorrow.
Do I have "please have all your idiot employees annoy me?" tatooed on my ass today or what?!!?!? Tara can I borrow your grumpy lol cat.
Love my family!! Hate my doctors minions!
ps
Eli is doing great and can almost turn over! But this was a rant and Eli is happy news
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Un-Fair Fairness and San Diego
Well as I have been posting happily about for weeks me and the boys went down to San Diego to visit my mom. We rented a car (cha-ching) and drove down to San Diego Weds night. Mom was excited to see us and oooed and cooed over Eli, all of which I expected. I had warned her that on Thursday I was going to try and visit my best friend Vitaly, Friday I was having dinner with Julie and that Saturday I was going to try and see Michalene. She was pre-warned. Some how I thought this would help.
Thursday we got up and ran a few errands to let Randy sleep in a bit. When we came home we loaded up to head out to the fair. I was doing the inner hokie pokie....I LOVE THE FAIR. I love the rides, I love the foods, the vendors....I LOVE THE FAIR. We get in and run about looking for food which we find and then we decide to walk the vendor halls. In my mind I am thinking "ridesridesridesrides" but trying to be cool and amicable to all invovled we walked the crap for sale. (Yes I bought a few things...I am human after all) Then we leave the halls (rides?) and walk around for more food. After food part 2 we walked around the ride/game area (yes ms. diabetic you can go into the candy store but you get NOTHING) So we walked around more, bought the desert type snacks and left. Did you read all that? NO RIDES FOR DAWN.
We get home and although I was tired I still wanted to see Alik but Mommy-dearest didn't think we should go out when wehad been out all day. NO BURNERS FOR DAWN.
Friday we go to breakfast and to Ikea. I txt Julie and we were making plans when my mom went weepy nutto "it's almost time for you to leave, do you have to take the baby?" So NO VISIT WITH OLD FRIENDS FOR DAWN,
Saturday Michalene let me know that she wa having tummy trouble, so I assumed the plans were canceled. We went to the Swap Meet (got cute shoes) Later on got word that we could have gone over and said hello. If we had mom mom would have gone nutters. So AGAIN I stayed. NO FRIENDS FOR DAWN
Sunday she and I ran some errands and then went to the cemetary to say hello to my grandpa. I had never gone to the grave since the ceremonie there. I just wanted 5 minutes. She gave them to me but as I went back to the car she attacked hugged me and sobbed all about her missing him. Here I was in tears and grief and she didn't even ask me how I was.
Then we went back to the house packed and went to see my Wendy and Bob. Dan was there and that was the only happy moment of my trip.
Overall, I could have had a V-8
hugs
daw
Thursday we got up and ran a few errands to let Randy sleep in a bit. When we came home we loaded up to head out to the fair. I was doing the inner hokie pokie....I LOVE THE FAIR. I love the rides, I love the foods, the vendors....I LOVE THE FAIR. We get in and run about looking for food which we find and then we decide to walk the vendor halls. In my mind I am thinking "ridesridesridesrides" but trying to be cool and amicable to all invovled we walked the crap for sale. (Yes I bought a few things...I am human after all) Then we leave the halls (rides?) and walk around for more food. After food part 2 we walked around the ride/game area (yes ms. diabetic you can go into the candy store but you get NOTHING) So we walked around more, bought the desert type snacks and left. Did you read all that? NO RIDES FOR DAWN.
We get home and although I was tired I still wanted to see Alik but Mommy-dearest didn't think we should go out when wehad been out all day. NO BURNERS FOR DAWN.
Friday we go to breakfast and to Ikea. I txt Julie and we were making plans when my mom went weepy nutto "it's almost time for you to leave, do you have to take the baby?" So NO VISIT WITH OLD FRIENDS FOR DAWN,
Saturday Michalene let me know that she wa having tummy trouble, so I assumed the plans were canceled. We went to the Swap Meet (got cute shoes) Later on got word that we could have gone over and said hello. If we had mom mom would have gone nutters. So AGAIN I stayed. NO FRIENDS FOR DAWN
Sunday she and I ran some errands and then went to the cemetary to say hello to my grandpa. I had never gone to the grave since the ceremonie there. I just wanted 5 minutes. She gave them to me but as I went back to the car she attacked hugged me and sobbed all about her missing him. Here I was in tears and grief and she didn't even ask me how I was.
Then we went back to the house packed and went to see my Wendy and Bob. Dan was there and that was the only happy moment of my trip.
Overall, I could have had a V-8
hugs
daw
Monday, June 15, 2009
Funny vomit wasn't in the ad...
...for this whole "mommy" job. Just kidding, sort of. I was a bit of a vomit-phobe (I'm sure there s some fancy term for it) Being the sober one for a great many parties, holding hair...hearing noises no 90lb woman should make...seeing colors God did not intend your body to create...yup I pretty much hate puke. So Eli has had a bit of a tummy *bleh* today and surprisingly enough neither one of us are too freaked out about the gastrointestinal pyrotechnics his little body has chosen to spew out. He just smiles after as if to say "I feel better Mom." Of course this would happen 2 days before we have a 6 hour car trip and a fun visit in San Diego. Hopefully this is just a teeny thing .
Well I had hoped to blog more but Eli is up again and today when he is up he wants to be held...it's a tough life but someone has to do it ;) (for those who miss my sarcasm...that tough life...was a joke)
Love
Dawn and Eli
Thursday, June 11, 2009
It's always sunny in Vegas right?
Darn clouds will not blow out of this town and the pressure is KILLING me! I'd gladly have a rooat canal with no novacaine for a month without migraines...well ok maybe not that extreme but I think you catch my meaning. Grrrr. I have a MRI and a nerve conduction study scheduled for June 25th and hopefully we can get moving on a more productive way of doing things. Keep me in your prayers.
Eli is becoming more and more of a daredevil every day. He likes to be tossed onto the bed (from about 6 inches above the bed or lifted up by his feet. Scares mommy to death but the kiddo grins like a maniac. Being the girlie girl that I was this was all foreign to me but I do love to see him smile. He smiles constantly. I can't wait for everyone to see what a happy baby he is. He gobbles his "ricer" bottles an now he eats "nanner" bottles (I add a few teaspoons of baby bananas to his bottle and s
hake shake shake) and he LOVES it. Next week its sweet potatos. I hate them but daddy loves them so we'll see.I'm very excited as next week we are heading south to San Diego to see my mom and go to the San Diego County fair. I love the rides and the FOOD. My mom is thrilled as she hasn't seen Eli since he was 5 days old. We'll also be albe to see a few "burner" pals (it's a weekend of a burner event so most will be camping) and a few other pals I rarely get to see. I am looking forward to a change of scenery. Then we'll be back for a month...back to San Diego for ComicCon and a chance to see more Burner friends and High School friends!! and then in August off to Oklahoma. Lots of travel but also lots of family. I can't wait. Now if I could just forget about my 31st birthday in August....doubt that will happen...*bleh* Maybe I'll finally be able to beg for that aquamarine ring or the digital camera *hint hint* (never hurts to beg the hubby early right?)
Well thats my boring news for now. I'll add one more cute picture of the kiddo...cause I'm a mommy-addict!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
A letter to my husband and son
Dear Randy and Eli,
I suppose I should write this out privately but these are words I shouldn't hide. I want everyone I know to understand how much the both of you have changed my life and how happy I am.
The first 29 years or so of my life weren't so great...between bouts of depression, drug abuse, physical/mental abuse, being abandoned and feeling unloved I had a lot of very unhappy days. I had grown accustomed to all of that and figured that it was just the status quo. I thought that life had to be hard, that unconditional love was a myth and that happiness was just something Disney made up to sell movies. I had love for my family and friends but no love for myself. I spent days drifting between self loathing and pain honestly believing that I didn't deserve anything more.
Then by some miracle I sent the right e-mail to the right person and an honest dialogue was opened. I started having something to look forward to, something to trust and it scared the hell out of me. I looked for any reason to disbelieve my own heart but no reason came. Finally in a fit of fear but wanting so much to believe I asked that our first (well second) meeting be made without the usual "masks" people wear. Just honesty, something I hadn't ever had. When I made the long drive my hands and heart shook because I knew this was going to change my life but I wasn't sure if it was going to be great or emotional devastation. If people know the story, they know that after 36 short hours of honesty we walked out in love and with a promise of marriage.
I knew I loved you Randy the first moment I saw you in 2005, but it was confirmed when I saw your eyes and smile in that trailer in 2007. You accepted me, as screwed up as I was, for exactly what I was. You never once asked me to change or be someone I couldn't be. You loved and accepted me, held me when I cried and made me want to become a better woman. You watched me slowly climb out of the pit of addiction, drug me kicking and screaming to the hospital and demanded that I be taken care of, and made me believe that I wasn't alone anymore. You accepted the part of me that was (and is) the "Fraggle" but also got me to accept the fact that "Dawn" is a good person too, worthy of your love and devotion. More importantly you helped me integrate those two into a better me...Mrs. Winsett. Your kindness, acceptance, love and friendship saved my life in more ways than the physical...you helped me heal my soul and taught me to accept unconditional love and for that I will forever grateful. Then after you gave me all that you had, you gave me the gift I never thought I would be worthy of, our son.
Eli, my little man...my light, my joy. How can I find the words to describe something that I love so much? I don't think even I understand the depth of my love for you. I don't think God will let me understand that because my heart might just explode. Into you I put everything good I had and wanted nothing back but it came back to me so that I could continue to nurture you and give you what you need. I look at you and see all the love your Daddy and I share and it grows everyday as we watch you grow. I have grown up more in the last year than I have in any other period of my life. Things I accepted before no longer are acceptable if they affect you and I would kill to make sure that your life is perfect. My life will be spent making sure that you never have to experience the harsher life lessons I did and that you never question that you are loved. You are a perfect example that everyone can get a second chance at a beautiful life. I love you with all of my soul and my whole heart.
To my dearest loves...my husband and son I can't promise perfection. I will make mistakes and I will fail. But I can promise that I will always pick myself up and try again. I will always strive to be the best mother and wife that I can be. I will strive to never intentionally cause either of your hearts a moments hurt and if I do I promise to kiss the pain away. Randy, I promise to continue to be your wife, your confident, your lover, your best friend and your loyal and faithful partner for as long as you will have me. Eli, I promise to be your mother, your confident, your teacher, a comfort, your clown, your protector and (at times) your friend for as long as I am alive. Both of your presence in my life makes me feel strong, beautiful and loved and I thank God for you both. You are both always in my thoughts, in my prayers and in my heart. I love you.
Love
Dawn, aka Fraggle, aka Mrs. Winsett, aka Mom (my favorite) :-*
I suppose I should write this out privately but these are words I shouldn't hide. I want everyone I know to understand how much the both of you have changed my life and how happy I am.
The first 29 years or so of my life weren't so great...between bouts of depression, drug abuse, physical/mental abuse, being abandoned and feeling unloved I had a lot of very unhappy days. I had grown accustomed to all of that and figured that it was just the status quo. I thought that life had to be hard, that unconditional love was a myth and that happiness was just something Disney made up to sell movies. I had love for my family and friends but no love for myself. I spent days drifting between self loathing and pain honestly believing that I didn't deserve anything more.
Then by some miracle I sent the right e-mail to the right person and an honest dialogue was opened. I started having something to look forward to, something to trust and it scared the hell out of me. I looked for any reason to disbelieve my own heart but no reason came. Finally in a fit of fear but wanting so much to believe I asked that our first (well second) meeting be made without the usual "masks" people wear. Just honesty, something I hadn't ever had. When I made the long drive my hands and heart shook because I knew this was going to change my life but I wasn't sure if it was going to be great or emotional devastation. If people know the story, they know that after 36 short hours of honesty we walked out in love and with a promise of marriage.
I knew I loved you Randy the first moment I saw you in 2005, but it was confirmed when I saw your eyes and smile in that trailer in 2007. You accepted me, as screwed up as I was, for exactly what I was. You never once asked me to change or be someone I couldn't be. You loved and accepted me, held me when I cried and made me want to become a better woman. You watched me slowly climb out of the pit of addiction, drug me kicking and screaming to the hospital and demanded that I be taken care of, and made me believe that I wasn't alone anymore. You accepted the part of me that was (and is) the "Fraggle" but also got me to accept the fact that "Dawn" is a good person too, worthy of your love and devotion. More importantly you helped me integrate those two into a better me...Mrs. Winsett. Your kindness, acceptance, love and friendship saved my life in more ways than the physical...you helped me heal my soul and taught me to accept unconditional love and for that I will forever grateful. Then after you gave me all that you had, you gave me the gift I never thought I would be worthy of, our son.
Eli, my little man...my light, my joy. How can I find the words to describe something that I love so much? I don't think even I understand the depth of my love for you. I don't think God will let me understand that because my heart might just explode. Into you I put everything good I had and wanted nothing back but it came back to me so that I could continue to nurture you and give you what you need. I look at you and see all the love your Daddy and I share and it grows everyday as we watch you grow. I have grown up more in the last year than I have in any other period of my life. Things I accepted before no longer are acceptable if they affect you and I would kill to make sure that your life is perfect. My life will be spent making sure that you never have to experience the harsher life lessons I did and that you never question that you are loved. You are a perfect example that everyone can get a second chance at a beautiful life. I love you with all of my soul and my whole heart.
To my dearest loves...my husband and son I can't promise perfection. I will make mistakes and I will fail. But I can promise that I will always pick myself up and try again. I will always strive to be the best mother and wife that I can be. I will strive to never intentionally cause either of your hearts a moments hurt and if I do I promise to kiss the pain away. Randy, I promise to continue to be your wife, your confident, your lover, your best friend and your loyal and faithful partner for as long as you will have me. Eli, I promise to be your mother, your confident, your teacher, a comfort, your clown, your protector and (at times) your friend for as long as I am alive. Both of your presence in my life makes me feel strong, beautiful and loved and I thank God for you both. You are both always in my thoughts, in my prayers and in my heart. I love you.
Love
Dawn, aka Fraggle, aka Mrs. Winsett, aka Mom (my favorite) :-*
Monday, June 1, 2009
Bagels, Bananas, and Babies
Ahh I haven't blogged in too long, but as few people read this I doubt it was missed! Thanks to friends wanting to hang out I actually got the house clean Thursday so this weekend we were able to relax quite a bit on Saturday, just some laundry to contend with. Sunday on the other hand...we got busy!
Sunday morning we met up with a friend of mine from high school. Thanks to the joy of Facebook I found a survivor of Serra Senior High here in Vegas! She and I were in drama together and we bonded over both being adopted. (Our "moms" stormed into a drama rehearsal at midnight once and holler
ed at our teacher....good times!) So we met up for a brunch of bagels and memories. She brought her 9 year old daughter Sabrina and we spent a few hours catching up and talking about where we are now with our lives. It was so nice to meet up with someone who "knew me then" and could see how far I had come. Plus I had always really liked her, a rare thing for someone from high school...LOL. Her daughter is a gem too.
After brunch we headed off to our "burner" friend Tiya's sons 1st birthday. It was a pool party over at some old friends house and it was a lot of fun. I was surprised as I wasn't always a welcome addition to the Las Vegas burner events (I stole Randy away, hehe) but time has passed and we're all friendly now. There were 4 babies under 3 and it was so fun to watch them play in the pool. Eli loved the water and was in off and on for over 4 hours! Plus it was everyones favorite game "pass the baby!" Eli loved the attention, he is such a trooper. By the end of the day Eli was still ready to party (there was MANY cute girls to flirt with and that kid can flirt) but Randy and I were dead on our feet. On the drive home, idiot me reached into the back seat and whacked out my neck...way to end a great day.
Today was a lay around and recover sort of day. Eli went to bed last night around 11 and slept til 5:30am without a sound, then he stirred a bit, drank a little bottle, got a diaper change and crashed back out until 8. When he awoke then he drained a bottle and went back out til 10. Most of the rest of the day was a mix of giggles and cuddles and sleep (at least for him....for me it was wincing and reaching for the heating pad) When Randy came home we tried out some baby food bananas and Eli seemed to love them. He got about 1/2 a teaspoon in and smiled through the whole experience, although I did get the look of "why you been holding out on me mommy?" He's going to eat us out of house and home. I thought the 3 "B's" stood for B.inky-B.ottle-B.utt but methinks I am wrong and they stand for B.abes-B.eer-B.acon. What can I say, he's advanced. :)
Well thats the news from here, exciting no? Aren't you glad you logged in? Eli sends kisses and spit bubbles.
Sunday morning we met up with a friend of mine from high school. Thanks to the joy of Facebook I found a survivor of Serra Senior High here in Vegas! She and I were in drama together and we bonded over both being adopted. (Our "moms" stormed into a drama rehearsal at midnight once and holler
ed at our teacher....good times!) So we met up for a brunch of bagels and memories. She brought her 9 year old daughter Sabrina and we spent a few hours catching up and talking about where we are now with our lives. It was so nice to meet up with someone who "knew me then" and could see how far I had come. Plus I had always really liked her, a rare thing for someone from high school...LOL. Her daughter is a gem too.After brunch we headed off to our "burner" friend Tiya's sons 1st birthday. It was a pool party over at some old friends house and it was a lot of fun. I was surprised as I wasn't always a welcome addition to the Las Vegas burner events (I stole Randy away, hehe) but time has passed and we're all friendly now. There were 4 babies under 3 and it was so fun to watch them play in the pool. Eli loved the water and was in off and on for over 4 hours! Plus it was everyones favorite game "pass the baby!" Eli loved the attention, he is such a trooper. By the end of the day Eli was still ready to party (there was MANY cute girls to flirt with and that kid can flirt) but Randy and I were dead on our feet. On the drive home, idiot me reached into the back seat and whacked out my neck...way to end a great day.
Today was a lay around and recover sort of day. Eli went to bed last night around 11 and slept til 5:30am without a sound, then he stirred a bit, drank a little bottle, got a diaper change and crashed back out until 8. When he awoke then he drained a bottle and went back out til 10. Most of the rest of the day was a mix of giggles and cuddles and sleep (at least for him....for me it was wincing and reaching for the heating pad) When Randy came home we tried out some baby food bananas and Eli seemed to love them. He got about 1/2 a teaspoon in and smiled through the whole experience, although I did get the look of "why you been holding out on me mommy?" He's going to eat us out of house and home. I thought the 3 "B's" stood for B.inky-B.ottle-B.utt but methinks I am wrong and they stand for B.abes-B.eer-B.acon. What can I say, he's advanced. :)
Well thats the news from here, exciting no? Aren't you glad you logged in? Eli sends kisses and spit bubbles.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Grandpa
Today is Memorial Day and although I miss my grandfather everyday special holidays for servicemen (and women) make losing him more poignant. My grandpa was not always an easy man to love. He was gruff, rude and blunt. He worked hard and lost a lot in his life. He was the last of the Gardner men and seen his wife Madeline die after a long hard illness. He had raised her children as his own having been kept away from his only biological daughter (my mom.) He was a Navy man who retired with full honors, went back to college, rejoined the work force and earned a second full retirement. He was deaf (when he chose to be), diabetic (but a sugar hound), had COPD (but snuck a smoke every chance he got) and lived for his nightly beer and shot (Crown Royal in a juice glass.) He didn't want to live to be as old as he was and denied the joys of living. But he kept on long after he wanted to for my mother and I.
In 1993 I found out he existed and wrote him a letter, the letter in return was tear stained. He not only wanted to know me he loved me. For a few brief years I centered his world, I was his little girl. Then before I left for college I introduced him to his daughter. I ceased to be his focused and although I had moments of regret (based in selfisness) I knew this was what he wanted. When his health declined and my mom's mental health needs increased she moved in. I'm convinced this extended his life. For almost ten years she drove him crazy and made him laugh.
In October of 2005 his health declined to the point that hospice was called. Everyone but my mom knew what this meant. She called me to let me know he was having a worse than usual night so I came over. I asked for a moment alone with him. He was sedated on morpine and clodaphine. I told him I knew I had never made him proud and that seemed to agitate him, so I said I was sorry. I told him I loved him and just wanted to make him happy and proud of me. I told him that I knew he was holding on for me and my mom but that he didn't have to keep on for us. I knew he was tired and that if he wanted to go to his brothers and Madeline, we'd be sad but we would understand. I kissed him and held his hand. Later on that night I told my mom to get some rest that I would watch over him. I think I fell asleep for a minute or 2...and he was gone. The funeral home came and got him and when they tied a sheet over his face I panicked. He was a hero, a figher, my grandpa...they seemed to understand and retied it in a more respectful position.
A week later he was buried with full honors. 21 gun salute, taps, and the flag ceremony. I don't remember much of it. Now I look at my son, who bears my grandpas name and I wonder how will I ever tell him how wonderful his great-grandpa was. I would give ANYTHING. Anything, 10 years of my life, for 1 hour with him now...to be able to put my son in his arms to say "Look at the woman I am now" to tell him I love him one more time.
I love you Grandpa, I hope you can hear me...
.
In 1993 I found out he existed and wrote him a letter, the letter in return was tear stained. He not only wanted to know me he loved me. For a few brief years I centered his world, I was his little girl. Then before I left for college I introduced him to his daughter. I ceased to be his focused and although I had moments of regret (based in selfisness) I knew this was what he wanted. When his health declined and my mom's mental health needs increased she moved in. I'm convinced this extended his life. For almost ten years she drove him crazy and made him laugh.
In October of 2005 his health declined to the point that hospice was called. Everyone but my mom knew what this meant. She called me to let me know he was having a worse than usual night so I came over. I asked for a moment alone with him. He was sedated on morpine and clodaphine. I told him I knew I had never made him proud and that seemed to agitate him, so I said I was sorry. I told him I loved him and just wanted to make him happy and proud of me. I told him that I knew he was holding on for me and my mom but that he didn't have to keep on for us. I knew he was tired and that if he wanted to go to his brothers and Madeline, we'd be sad but we would understand. I kissed him and held his hand. Later on that night I told my mom to get some rest that I would watch over him. I think I fell asleep for a minute or 2...and he was gone. The funeral home came and got him and when they tied a sheet over his face I panicked. He was a hero, a figher, my grandpa...they seemed to understand and retied it in a more respectful position.
A week later he was buried with full honors. 21 gun salute, taps, and the flag ceremony. I don't remember much of it. Now I look at my son, who bears my grandpas name and I wonder how will I ever tell him how wonderful his great-grandpa was. I would give ANYTHING. Anything, 10 years of my life, for 1 hour with him now...to be able to put my son in his arms to say "Look at the woman I am now" to tell him I love him one more time.
I love you Grandpa, I hope you can hear me...
.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Family weekends
I just got an e-mail from Grandpa Gene and it looks like everyone (except the Vegas Winsetts) will be in Oklahoma this weekend including my Step-Brother in Law Michael (whom I have not met) This is when I dislike where I live. Vegas is great but I really miss being able to "pop" over for a visit. Dang it all. I miss my San Diego peeps, my New York peeps, the Oklahoma peeps, and the "Burner" peeps scattered all over this great green planet. If I had all the money in the world travel would be a bigger part of our plan. Thank God for blogs, e-mails, texts, pictures and phones huh? For all those...near and far we love you!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Turning smurfy
Friday is Grandparent's Day!! A holiday that for the past 3 years hasn't meant much to me but now (with 6 grandma's and 3 grandpa's for Eli) seems VERY important! So I take my cutie pie son and explain to him that we need to make something special for his grandparents. Now I *know* he is only 10 1/2 weeks old but he is very advanced and VERY stubborn and although he accepted my help he insisted on signing them himself....Glad I checked the label for toxicity....Off to take a bath...quickly...this stuff might stain...:*)
Monday, May 18, 2009
Dreaming....
I realized an amazing thing this weekend...I'm a grown-up!! With my mom I've always had to be more grown up but handing my son over to Wendy and Bob...I realized I wasn't the silly teenager I once was. It was so nice to realize that they finally got to see me with my act together and that their investment in me paid off. I have been so scared that I would lose Wendy (her health is not great at times) and she would not get to see me "ok." This weekend was so great for me in that sense. She said she has never seen me this happy and in truth...I have never been this happy. I didn't know this level of happy existed.
When I was a kid I wanted to be a pediatrician because I wanted to be surrounded by children. I was being raised in a world where being a stay at home wasn't real politically correct, plus I saw what being left by a husband could do to a woman without skills. But if I am really honest with myself...all I ever wanted to be was a mommy. I wanted to be the room mom, the PTA mom, the mom who made the cool birthday cakes and crazy art projects on rainy days. I realize that my "feminist" membership card might get rescinded for admitting this but isn't feminism about choice? I like being a wife and a mom. I don't mind sacrificing to take care of Eli. New cars, fancy jewelry, or vacations don't really matter to me (although I do love my purses and shoes!) I just want to be at home with my kids. If we could afford it I'd have a dozen of them (Randy just had a heart attack and doesn't know why LOL) but I want my kids to have the best life (and I want to live in the city and not the middle of nowhere) so I'll settle for 2 (or 3...hehehe) All of my dreams have come true...I have a husband I adore and a little boy who amazes me on a minute-ly basis. What could be better?
Thanks for reading me gush and being a part of my happy little world...Eli says hi!
When I was a kid I wanted to be a pediatrician because I wanted to be surrounded by children. I was being raised in a world where being a stay at home wasn't real politically correct, plus I saw what being left by a husband could do to a woman without skills. But if I am really honest with myself...all I ever wanted to be was a mommy. I wanted to be the room mom, the PTA mom, the mom who made the cool birthday cakes and crazy art projects on rainy days. I realize that my "feminist" membership card might get rescinded for admitting this but isn't feminism about choice? I like being a wife and a mom. I don't mind sacrificing to take care of Eli. New cars, fancy jewelry, or vacations don't really matter to me (although I do love my purses and shoes!) I just want to be at home with my kids. If we could afford it I'd have a dozen of them (Randy just had a heart attack and doesn't know why LOL) but I want my kids to have the best life (and I want to live in the city and not the middle of nowhere) so I'll settle for 2 (or 3...hehehe) All of my dreams have come true...I have a husband I adore and a little boy who amazes me on a minute-ly basis. What could be better?
Thanks for reading me gush and being a part of my happy little world...Eli says hi!
Friday, May 15, 2009
Family
New weekend coming so a new blog...
Wow it's taken awhile for me to come up with something to say here in Doozer's world. We are both really excited as my adopted mom (Wendy) and her husband (Bob) are coming into Vegas this weekend to see Eli. Usually Wendy is headed back east by now so I was worried she wouldn't get to meet her grandson for a long time but she surprised me when I called last week by saying they were coming out now. For those who don't know the back story...Wendy is the mother of my best friend Daniel (whom I usually refer to as my brother) When my mom started having problems with drugs Wendy took me in. That only lasted a few months before I was shipped off to Colorado to my grandbeast's house. After 2 years I called Wendy begging to come home. Despite having little money and working 3 jobs to support just her and Dan...she let me come home and made sure I finished high school. Since then I have lived with them off and on. Wendy is as different as my mom as can be...mom is tattoos, beer and pizza...Wendy is diamonds, champagne and lobster. If you know me at all you can see how they both have shaped who I am today. So I am very excited to have her and her husband come out. Bob is Wendy's 3rd or 4th husband...but they have been friends forever. He proposed every year on her birthday and she said no. Finally he stopped asking, then about 10 years ago she asked him. When they married Bob accepted me as his own. We named the baby both for Randy's uncle and for Bob. He was the man who showed me what a real husband is like. I love them both...a lot!
Mother's Day was nice but I certainly got the shock of my life when I checked my voicemail and had a message from Randy's mom! (I met his step-mom a few weeks ago) We had sent her a letter but being the dunce I am I switched the box # with the zipcode...so the letter came back. I called her back and we had a lovely conversation. I'm really lucky to have married into such a great family. She seemed really excited to be a grandma and I promised to e-mail her pictures right away (which I did...just hope I got the e-mail address right....damn dsylexia) When I was growing up I always wanted a big extended family with brothers/sisters, aunts/uncles, and grandparents that weren't spawned from hell. I have 2 uncles (but one has joined the ranks of hell-spawn lately) and my grandfather died almost 4 years ago. I am so happy Eli will have what I never did. 6 grandma's claim him, 2 grandpa's, 1 biological Aunt and Uncle, 1 adopted Uncle and Aunt, 1 addopted Aunt and nephew and lots of "chosen" family who call him their own. He's probably going to think Auntie and Uncle are people's 1st names for awhile, lol. With a big family comes the opportunity to be hurt big but I have to open my heart and risk being hurt. Scary!
My health is once again making me nervous. I wish my darn GI doctor wasn't on vacation this week as I need to talk to him. I was advised to go to the ER with my newest concern but as long as it doesn't get any worse I am going to try and hold off. I'm a little weak and tired from it but I can manage ok. Eli is a pretty chill kid. Next week will be a flurry of doctor activity...interventional pain doctor on thursday, neurologist friday and GI on friday. Funfunfun for me huh?
The infantile overlord has awoken...that's all for now!
ps: I promise new pictures of the kiddo soon! Randy just found our camera ;)
Wow it's taken awhile for me to come up with something to say here in Doozer's world. We are both really excited as my adopted mom (Wendy) and her husband (Bob) are coming into Vegas this weekend to see Eli. Usually Wendy is headed back east by now so I was worried she wouldn't get to meet her grandson for a long time but she surprised me when I called last week by saying they were coming out now. For those who don't know the back story...Wendy is the mother of my best friend Daniel (whom I usually refer to as my brother) When my mom started having problems with drugs Wendy took me in. That only lasted a few months before I was shipped off to Colorado to my grandbeast's house. After 2 years I called Wendy begging to come home. Despite having little money and working 3 jobs to support just her and Dan...she let me come home and made sure I finished high school. Since then I have lived with them off and on. Wendy is as different as my mom as can be...mom is tattoos, beer and pizza...Wendy is diamonds, champagne and lobster. If you know me at all you can see how they both have shaped who I am today. So I am very excited to have her and her husband come out. Bob is Wendy's 3rd or 4th husband...but they have been friends forever. He proposed every year on her birthday and she said no. Finally he stopped asking, then about 10 years ago she asked him. When they married Bob accepted me as his own. We named the baby both for Randy's uncle and for Bob. He was the man who showed me what a real husband is like. I love them both...a lot!
Mother's Day was nice but I certainly got the shock of my life when I checked my voicemail and had a message from Randy's mom! (I met his step-mom a few weeks ago) We had sent her a letter but being the dunce I am I switched the box # with the zipcode...so the letter came back. I called her back and we had a lovely conversation. I'm really lucky to have married into such a great family. She seemed really excited to be a grandma and I promised to e-mail her pictures right away (which I did...just hope I got the e-mail address right....damn dsylexia) When I was growing up I always wanted a big extended family with brothers/sisters, aunts/uncles, and grandparents that weren't spawned from hell. I have 2 uncles (but one has joined the ranks of hell-spawn lately) and my grandfather died almost 4 years ago. I am so happy Eli will have what I never did. 6 grandma's claim him, 2 grandpa's, 1 biological Aunt and Uncle, 1 adopted Uncle and Aunt, 1 addopted Aunt and nephew and lots of "chosen" family who call him their own. He's probably going to think Auntie and Uncle are people's 1st names for awhile, lol. With a big family comes the opportunity to be hurt big but I have to open my heart and risk being hurt. Scary!
My health is once again making me nervous. I wish my darn GI doctor wasn't on vacation this week as I need to talk to him. I was advised to go to the ER with my newest concern but as long as it doesn't get any worse I am going to try and hold off. I'm a little weak and tired from it but I can manage ok. Eli is a pretty chill kid. Next week will be a flurry of doctor activity...interventional pain doctor on thursday, neurologist friday and GI on friday. Funfunfun for me huh?
The infantile overlord has awoken...that's all for now!
ps: I promise new pictures of the kiddo soon! Randy just found our camera ;)
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Growth...
Well I'm amazed...I have fodder for 2 posts in one day....go fig
Eli went to his 2 month checkup today and has gained 5 pounds since birth. Well actually he was 7.1 when he was born but 6.6 when we brought him home...so more like 5.5lbs. He is now 12 pounds and 23 inches long. He gained 2 pounds and .5in since his last appointment 2 weeks ago. What everyone says is true, they grow up so fast.
They let me hold him while he got his shots. 1 oral vaccine and 2 shots. He was looking right into my eyes when she stuck him the first time and the look of pain and shock was almost too much for me. The second shot pissed him off and man did he cry. The nurse left then and Randy and I cuddled him til he was happy and almost smiling again. Now we have to massage the area and he doesn't appreciate that! I'm going to have to wake him soon and run his leg and give him a little tylenol because he is running a fever. Good news is that we don't have to go back for 2 months. Heck even I haven't had 2 months without a Dr.s appointment...
Speaking of which I have to see my GP tomorrow. Hopefully he will continue to address my headaches and also look into my stomach issues as my neurology appt isn't for another 2 weeks and my GI doc is out of town for at least 2 weeks too. Wish me luck!
Eli went to his 2 month checkup today and has gained 5 pounds since birth. Well actually he was 7.1 when he was born but 6.6 when we brought him home...so more like 5.5lbs. He is now 12 pounds and 23 inches long. He gained 2 pounds and .5in since his last appointment 2 weeks ago. What everyone says is true, they grow up so fast.
They let me hold him while he got his shots. 1 oral vaccine and 2 shots. He was looking right into my eyes when she stuck him the first time and the look of pain and shock was almost too much for me. The second shot pissed him off and man did he cry. The nurse left then and Randy and I cuddled him til he was happy and almost smiling again. Now we have to massage the area and he doesn't appreciate that! I'm going to have to wake him soon and run his leg and give him a little tylenol because he is running a fever. Good news is that we don't have to go back for 2 months. Heck even I haven't had 2 months without a Dr.s appointment...
Speaking of which I have to see my GP tomorrow. Hopefully he will continue to address my headaches and also look into my stomach issues as my neurology appt isn't for another 2 weeks and my GI doc is out of town for at least 2 weeks too. Wish me luck!
Trying to find my "brave" button
I realized that now that I have started a blog, I actually need to update it! My day to day life isn't that exciting, unless you count me kicking booty at Yahtzee.
Now to explain the title, today is Eli's first set of shots. **yikes** I've been promised that he won't remember if it hurts but still he's so little! I am hoping that I will be able to hold him and give him his bottle while they do it. (If she says no, I have been informed to tell her that she is mean) Holding him will keep me from crying and running out of the room. Thank God I will have Randy there.
Speaking of thanking God for a husband....I knew I was in love with Randy from the 1st time I met him (of course it took us 2 more years to meet and admit we were hooked on each other.) I knew he was an amazing man and everything I could wish for. Having a child with him has re-enforced those feelings and expanded them to so much more. Walking into the room and seeing him cuddling our son makes my heart expand so much, sometimes I think I am going to die. He is such an amazing father, so open and loving. Given my life before Randy, I was convinced I would never be happy, never get what I dreamed about and now? I have everything I have ever wanted and so much more. I am a lucky woman.
Ok, it's time to bathe the kiddo to ready him for his adventure. In addition to his shots we are going into daddy's work to show off how big Eli has gotten!
Now to explain the title, today is Eli's first set of shots. **yikes** I've been promised that he won't remember if it hurts but still he's so little! I am hoping that I will be able to hold him and give him his bottle while they do it. (If she says no, I have been informed to tell her that she is mean) Holding him will keep me from crying and running out of the room. Thank God I will have Randy there.
Speaking of thanking God for a husband....I knew I was in love with Randy from the 1st time I met him (of course it took us 2 more years to meet and admit we were hooked on each other.) I knew he was an amazing man and everything I could wish for. Having a child with him has re-enforced those feelings and expanded them to so much more. Walking into the room and seeing him cuddling our son makes my heart expand so much, sometimes I think I am going to die. He is such an amazing father, so open and loving. Given my life before Randy, I was convinced I would never be happy, never get what I dreamed about and now? I have everything I have ever wanted and so much more. I am a lucky woman.
Ok, it's time to bathe the kiddo to ready him for his adventure. In addition to his shots we are going into daddy's work to show off how big Eli has gotten!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
New blog, 1st post! I'm not sure what I will say here but I figured it was time to join the modern world and get a blog. (Big thanks to my sister in law for sending me her blog link and giving me the motivation to finally do this.)
For people who know me well you know that Burning Man is a big part of Randy and I's world as are regional events...so important we went to the burn and 2 regionals while I was pregnant. This last weekend we had our first regional to go to now that Eli has been born. We got there at noon, the baby wasn't eating well and we left by 5:30pm. From party animals to parent animals!! The best part? We didn't mind at all. It made me feel much better about our decision to skip the burn this year. They do say babies change everything!
Speaking of the baby he is growing like a weed and getting chubbier by the day. He's smiling, sticking his tongue out and will laugh any day now. He truly is the center of our world...and I think he knows it. How can you resist anything this cute?
For people who know me well you know that Burning Man is a big part of Randy and I's world as are regional events...so important we went to the burn and 2 regionals while I was pregnant. This last weekend we had our first regional to go to now that Eli has been born. We got there at noon, the baby wasn't eating well and we left by 5:30pm. From party animals to parent animals!! The best part? We didn't mind at all. It made me feel much better about our decision to skip the burn this year. They do say babies change everything!
Speaking of the baby he is growing like a weed and getting chubbier by the day. He's smiling, sticking his tongue out and will laugh any day now. He truly is the center of our world...and I think he knows it. How can you resist anything this cute?
(Eli at 5 weeks old when Grandma and Grandpa were in town)
Well that's the news for now!
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