Dreaming....

I realized an amazing thing this weekend...I'm a grown-up!! With my mom I've always had to be more grown up but handing my son over to Wendy and Bob...I realized I wasn't the silly teenager I once was. It was so nice to realize that they finally got to see me with my act together and that their investment in me paid off. I have been so scared that I would lose Wendy (her health is not great at times) and she would not get to see me "ok." This weekend was so great for me in that sense. She said she has never seen me this happy and in truth...I have never been this happy. I didn't know this level of happy existed.

When I was a kid I wanted to be a pediatrician because I wanted to be surrounded by children. I was being raised in a world where being a stay at home wasn't real politically correct, plus I saw what being left by a husband could do to a woman without skills. But if I am really honest with myself...all I ever wanted to be was a mommy. I wanted to be the room mom, the PTA mom, the mom who made the cool birthday cakes and crazy art projects on rainy days. I realize that my "feminist" membership card might get rescinded for admitting this but isn't feminism about choice? I like being a wife and a mom. I don't mind sacrificing to take care of Eli. New cars, fancy jewelry, or vacations don't really matter to me (although I do love my purses and shoes!) I just want to be at home with my kids. If we could afford it I'd have a dozen of them (Randy just had a heart attack and doesn't know why LOL) but I want my kids to have the best life (and I want to live in the city and not the middle of nowhere) so I'll settle for 2 (or 3...hehehe) All of my dreams have come true...I have a husband I adore and a little boy who amazes me on a minute-ly basis. What could be better?

Thanks for reading me gush and being a part of my happy little world...Eli says hi!