So, I've been promising an update in the ongoing saga with my biological mom LaDawna and I'm sorry it has taken me so long to do so. Part of me just has not wanted to relive what happened on Friday afternoon, but I know that I need to put this out "on paper" 1) Because as hard as it is to relive it as I type I always feel better about getting it out of my head and 2) By typing it out while it is fresh in my mind it will be something I can go back to months from now when I might be tempted to waffle on my resolution to never allow this evil back into my life. Sooo here goes nothing.
I figure the best way to handle this is to first explain how I ended up on the phone with her in the first place. And then give a subject by subject description of what was said. I had intended on blocking her telephone number, just as I had blocked her e-mails but since I just had not gotten around to it yet. It was Friday afternoon and Randy had just arrived home from work. We were discussing him helping a friend out for a few minutes when my phone rang. I saw it was her, so I pushed it over to voicemail. When it signaled that she had left a message I checked it. I saved it so here is a word for word transcription of it:
"Change your number brcfraggle. You know I'm the one who got you your car. I'm the one who got you your apartment. Your grandfather thought you were just like Pauline. He really didn't like you. All those things you got I got for you. So don't be thinking he was proud of you because he was not. He really didn't like you at all. So there."
I listened to the VM and had Randy listen to it, while we were checking it this one came in:
"And don't go thinking that your getting anything from my will. Everything has been changed into Tom's name and Jezabelle (my mom's hairdresser) is coming in to get every nicknack and other stuff she wants. My new family. My new daughter, son in law, and grandchildren. So don't think about ever coming here...the flag, the bible everything. It's all being given to Jezabelle."
I honestly didn't know what to say or do, and neither did Randy. We both knew that they were meant to hit me below the belt because I really loved my grandfather but have always been insecure about our relationship and worried that he didn't like me because he wasn't very good at showing it. Also she knows that although I am not terribly material the flag that we were given at his funeral and the family bible mean a lot to me and are both items that I wanted to have to pass on to Eli when he grew up. I was shaken but I knew where this was coming from and even though the phone calls were a surprise it wasn't anything too shocking given her and I's past relationship. Randy was worried she would keep calling but I told him I was ok and to take Eli and go help our friend. A few seconds after he left I got a call from an "unavailable" number and although I was suspicious I still answered the phone and it was her and she was out for blood. I'll start with what she said about my Grandpa.
Grandpa: She started by saying, as she did before, that everything he ever did for me was done on her behalf. That without her he would not have gotten me my car or co-signed for my apartment. She also said that he felt that I was a liar, selfish, whiny and rude. She said that he HATED me and that he wished that I had never contacted him when I was 16. I replied that he never trusted her because of her drug abuse and that she as good as killed him with her insanity. She kept him in sloth by never cleaning the house and complained about the few chores she did do for him. I also said that she robbed him blind and took advantage of his kindness but in return kept him prisoner in his own home. He had COPD and she continued to smoke, had high blood pressure and she fed him high sodium fast food, and he had diabetes and she fed him sugar. We went round and round on Grandpa with her escalating on how much he hated me.
Eli: She said that I was a horrible mother to Eli and that she was going to call CPS on me about him. She said that I beat him, starved him and ignored him. She said she was going to tell him that Randy and I ignored him at Christmas while we sat there and did Ecstasy. She said that she was going to tell them that I ignored him when he was dirty to the point that he had open weeping sores and that I did street drugs while I was pregnant.She also said that she planned on suing for "grandparents rights" to get custody or visitation rights and would tell him that I never wanted him. I told her that Eli was terrified of her and that he cries when he sees her picture and that she would never lay eyes on my child again. (I've already checked and the only way she would ever get any "grandparents rights" is if A) I DIED or B) Randy I divorced (state of CA only) Even then she would still have to prove that she had a relationship with Eli and could provide financial stability and health insurance. On top of that she would have to prove that she is emotionally, mentally and physically stable. Umm, yeah right. So as I said she will never, ever, NEVER lay hands or eyes on Eli again. But I am going off topic.) I also told her that we called her the Sea Witch to Eli and that we were teaching him to scream "Ew EW the sea witch" when he saw pictures of her. I also told her that although we were not going to tell Eli that she was dead he was going to be told about all the evil things she had done to mommy so that he grew up knowing what true evil was.
Randy: In regards to Randy she said that Randy was a ball less, cross dressing faggot with no ability to think for himself. She said he was an asshole that could go fuck himself repeatedly. She lied and said that he talked to her and said that he wished he had never proposed to me and that he wished everyday he could get away. She claimed that he had even said he looked forward to coming to San Diego because then I would fight with her and leave him alone. She said she knew he was a faggot and was amazed that he was able to make a child because he obviously had no balls. She said he was a disgusting cross dresser who got off on wearing my underwear and that everyone she knew laughed at him behind his back. She said that he wasn't a man and that he must have mental problems because he married a sick woman and had some sort of "hero complex." I told her that she was just jealous that I had a man, and that she would never get fucked again if she shoved 100$ bills up her pussy. That she was so fucking ugly I couldn't get her laid with a stolen dick and that she was going to end up alone and sad. She wouldn't know a real man if her life depended on it so who the fuck was she to judge my husband. I also said that she was the one fucked in the head to see something wrong with a man who wants to stand by his woman and want to save her.
Me: My mother called me whore, slut, cunt, bitch, bastard, liar, cheat, selfish, ugly, fat, stupid, worthless, disgusting, useless, a waste of time, nasty, lazy, whiny, tramp, sleazy, junkie, crackhead, user and easy. I'm sure I missed a few in there. She said I made up everything in my life to get sympathy. She said I was never molested or beaten by her step-father. She said that I told her friend Kenny that I had been molested by her real father (the grandfather I love so much.) She said that I had never lost a baby and miscarried alone. She said that I gave blow jobs to every man I met and that's how I had so many male friends. She threatened to call or e-mail of my friends that are in serious relationships and tell them that I had blown their husbands/boyfriends and laughed about it. She said that she was going to call Randy and tell him that I had cheated on him about the time I got pregnant with Eli and that he was probably not Randy's son. She said that I dressed like a whore at Burning Man and that it disgusted everyone because I was too fat to do so. She called me a dirty cunt, over and over again. She said that I was so disgusting when I was fat that she was ashamed to take me places and used to laugh with people about how disgusting I was. She said I faked all of my medical problems, including the ulcers that sent me into emergency surgery and the DVT, just to get attention. She said she lost friends because I was such a slut. She said that she was going to call every hospital and doctor here in Vegas and tell them I was an addict and to cut me off all medication I countered telling her that if I was a slut I learned it from the best and asked her how many abortions did she have as birth control. I went for a low blow and said that she had seduced her step-father and had never been molested by him either (I know...not cool) I said I would call the cops and report her for any illegal activity she might be doing still. I said that I would turn her in for SS fraud and for welfare fraud from when I was a kid. I said that I would make sure everyone in her life would suffer for being her friend if I could. I called her a whore for all the men I know she slept with and a monster for sending me to live with a man she knew could hurt me. I called her as many names as she called me and fought back tit for tat.
Nearly 2 hours had passed when Randy finally came home, he said he could hear me on the stairs yelling. I forget what finally ended the conversation but I believe she hung up on me. She says she has a new family now, and I wish them well. I don't ever plan on seeing or speaking to that woman again. Words can hurt. I'm no angel and I said awful evil things too so in all honesty we should never forgive each other and I'm going to make damn sure it stays that way.
Right now all I want to do is close the door on this and find my way back to happy. Luckily I have been able to stay sober through it all and not succumb to the temptation of abusing drugs or alcohol and I am really happy about that. I have all my friends and real family to thank for that. Thanks to you all for sticking with me and sending me all the love and happy vibes!!
Love
Dawn
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