So yesterday afternoon I was on my 6 roll of toilet paper (I ran out of tissues to blow my nose and wipe away the tears) and Randy was still at work and Eli was napping so I was kicking back on the couch watching some mindless TV when I noticed that my mail icon was blinking on Gertrude (my laptop...I name inanimate objects :D) So I clicked on and this is what I read :
"just wanted to let you know that johns teacher for polygraphs is coming to town and has agreed to do a test on me.it will be about xmas only. if you dont care to see the truth im sure someone will. he is a certified expert he can testify in court and the results are 98.8 accurate. we'll see if i'm such a liar...this wont change anything but at least you'll see that i might have been drinking but not around eli. and you on the other hand we're doing plenty of trazadone ectasy and ocs. like calling the kettle black i'd say."
So I called Randy at work and read him the letter. We both considered what to do, I could ignore it, block her address and move on. This is not only a reasonable option, it is the mature option and probably the one best for my mental state. But I am not dealing with a mature, reasonable person here. I am dealing with a woman who despite the fact that she is chronologically 51 mentally and socially she is 16. So what would you average 16 year old do if she goaded you and you ignored her...she would continue to pester, plague and annoy you until you gave her some sort of attention GOOD or BAD. But see my mom can do more....She would register a new e-mail address (she's done it before) and another and another and another. Or she would use her friends. If I blocked her IP address, she would use the libraries computers or an Internet cafe or her phone or her friends. And when THAT didn't work she would call me OVER and OVER and OVER. When I turned off my phone, she would call Randy. When we blocked her number she would call our apartment building, Randy at work, our friends....then she would block her number and call us from an unavailable number. Then we would change our numbers, despite having had them for years and potentially losing contacts we met at Burning Man from all over the world. The she would come out here and look for us, show up at Randy's work...call the police...report me missing. Oh yes...she would do ALL that over one ignored e-mail. So better to play her game but just to be better at it. I'm warning you guys this is not going to paint me in the nicest light....but sometimes you have to do what you have to do. So this is the exchange from e-mail #1 to e-mail #4. Her words are in Orange mine are in Purple. Needless to say, I think she is going to leave me alone for a little while....
#1:
#1:
just wanted to let you know that johns teacher for polygraphs is coming to town and has agreed to do a test on me.it will be about xmas only. if you dont care to see the truth im sure someone will. he is a certified expert he can testify in court and the results are 98.8 accurate. we'll see if i'm such a liar...this wont change anything but at least you'll see that i might have been drinking but not around eli. and you on the other hand we're doing plenty of trazadone ectasy and ocs. like calling the kettle black i'd say.
I'm sorry, who are you? You must have the wrong e-mail address. I don't know anyone named, LaDawna or Jon. Or why you would be offering to take a polygraph about Christmas. Please do not contact me at this address again talking about drugs.
Thank you.
#2.
i knew my father better than anyone those last years and he would be so ashamed of you
Listen, I don't know who you are but I imagine your father would not want you bothering someone who doesn't want to talk to you anymore.
Have a nice life.
#3. (this one came in at like 10pm, I decided to just end it)
ok play the i dont know you game but i hope you relize you have serious mental probalms. it runs in the women side of the family and by the sick obscene things you said last nite i relize you are in trouble. please call a mental health group in your area as i have. or the problem will never end. please
Ok lady...I've been trying to be nice, but I guess subtle doesn't work on your type. Although the advice about getting some help is touching...mental health advice from you is pretty laughable. Wasn't it you a couple of e-mails ago offering to take a polygraph to defend your virtue of not drinking around Eli when there were multiple witnesses there to see you mixing the drinks?
Then you mentioned how proud your father would be of you. You father would proud of a 51 year old shut in who in less than 5 years has spent every penny he took a lifetime to save, wrecked a car he took meticulous care of, and sold a home he had lived in for 35 years in a short "fire sale." Now that all that money is gone you continue to mooch off the social security system that you have never put a single hour of work into, you take and sell opiate drugs not caring who gets hurt as long as you get some money to feed your shopping addiction because you have to buy your friends, and the dog he bought you is gone because you over-fed him to death. Yes I bet your father is bursting with pride. Whereas me, yes I was a pill-popping addict but in those same 5 years I completed a ROP program, graduated and passed the state licensing, I met, married and made a child with a GOOD man who treats me like a queen. I took care of my health problems mental, physical and emotional and am now on a sober if not 100% clean path. I carried a beautiful boy to nearly full term and he is hale and hearty, happy and brilliant. He is at the 95Th percentile of height and weight and scores at a 4 year old level for fine motor skills. Yeah your dad would loathe me and be so ashamed to call me family.
So I don't really know why I bothered to acknowledge your messages. Probably because I am PERMANENTLY estranged from my mom. She's insane. Actually she's fucking nuts. And you remind me of her. But yes mental illness does run in our maternal side but it will usually show up by 30..31 by the latest. I was tested, and I am a-mutha-fucking-a-ok, no thanks to a warm and fuzzy childhood provided by my mom right? Yessiree I actually lucked out on this one. It skips a generation. So great grandma Polly: Stark raving MAD....Pauline: plain old bitch...a cast iron one...but still not insane Mom:Stark raving mad to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL..I mean they should write a BOOK....plus cast iron bitch plus...ah never mind...Then me...the last female for awhile....the end of the cycle: bitch. So I'm going to hope after this you will leave me alone because I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE and I hope my mom gets it too. I am going to change my e-mail address after all this. My phone number is already changed, so don't bother. And if anyone should decide to wander this way, the gates will be locked...we don't live there anymore. Seriously...Have a nice life. I know I will. I'm free.
#4 This one's subject read Pictures of Eli and Dawn
I love you and the baby
The management has requested that you no longer attempt to contact anyone in the Winsett household anymore. Thank you.
And after that it's been quiet. Oh God I hope it lasts. being cruel like that hurt me more that it will hurt her but I gave her what she wanted, I sunk to her level and I let her be the martyr. I just ****hated**** doing it. It made me feel dirty. So much so I need to shower again just copying and pasting it all over. Thanks for listening and please don't think poorly of me for doing this, it truly is self preservation.
Love,
Dawn
I'm sorry, who are you? You must have the wrong e-mail address. I don't know anyone named, LaDawna or Jon. Or why you would be offering to take a polygraph about Christmas. Please do not contact me at this address again talking about drugs.
Thank you.
#2.
i knew my father better than anyone those last years and he would be so ashamed of you
Listen, I don't know who you are but I imagine your father would not want you bothering someone who doesn't want to talk to you anymore.
Have a nice life.
#3. (this one came in at like 10pm, I decided to just end it)
ok play the i dont know you game but i hope you relize you have serious mental probalms. it runs in the women side of the family and by the sick obscene things you said last nite i relize you are in trouble. please call a mental health group in your area as i have. or the problem will never end. please
Ok lady...I've been trying to be nice, but I guess subtle doesn't work on your type. Although the advice about getting some help is touching...mental health advice from you is pretty laughable. Wasn't it you a couple of e-mails ago offering to take a polygraph to defend your virtue of not drinking around Eli when there were multiple witnesses there to see you mixing the drinks?
Then you mentioned how proud your father would be of you. You father would proud of a 51 year old shut in who in less than 5 years has spent every penny he took a lifetime to save, wrecked a car he took meticulous care of, and sold a home he had lived in for 35 years in a short "fire sale." Now that all that money is gone you continue to mooch off the social security system that you have never put a single hour of work into, you take and sell opiate drugs not caring who gets hurt as long as you get some money to feed your shopping addiction because you have to buy your friends, and the dog he bought you is gone because you over-fed him to death. Yes I bet your father is bursting with pride. Whereas me, yes I was a pill-popping addict but in those same 5 years I completed a ROP program, graduated and passed the state licensing, I met, married and made a child with a GOOD man who treats me like a queen. I took care of my health problems mental, physical and emotional and am now on a sober if not 100% clean path. I carried a beautiful boy to nearly full term and he is hale and hearty, happy and brilliant. He is at the 95Th percentile of height and weight and scores at a 4 year old level for fine motor skills. Yeah your dad would loathe me and be so ashamed to call me family.
So I don't really know why I bothered to acknowledge your messages. Probably because I am PERMANENTLY estranged from my mom. She's insane. Actually she's fucking nuts. And you remind me of her. But yes mental illness does run in our maternal side but it will usually show up by 30..31 by the latest. I was tested, and I am a-mutha-fucking-a-ok, no thanks to a warm and fuzzy childhood provided by my mom right? Yessiree I actually lucked out on this one. It skips a generation. So great grandma Polly: Stark raving MAD....Pauline: plain old bitch...a cast iron one...but still not insane Mom:Stark raving mad to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL..I mean they should write a BOOK....plus cast iron bitch plus...ah never mind...Then me...the last female for awhile....the end of the cycle: bitch. So I'm going to hope after this you will leave me alone because I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE and I hope my mom gets it too. I am going to change my e-mail address after all this. My phone number is already changed, so don't bother. And if anyone should decide to wander this way, the gates will be locked...we don't live there anymore. Seriously...Have a nice life. I know I will. I'm free.
#4 This one's subject read Pictures of Eli and Dawn
I love you and the baby
The management has requested that you no longer attempt to contact anyone in the Winsett household anymore. Thank you.
And after that it's been quiet. Oh God I hope it lasts. being cruel like that hurt me more that it will hurt her but I gave her what she wanted, I sunk to her level and I let her be the martyr. I just ****hated**** doing it. It made me feel dirty. So much so I need to shower again just copying and pasting it all over. Thanks for listening and please don't think poorly of me for doing this, it truly is self preservation.
Love,
Dawn
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